Christmas for the Lonely

Christmas is a season for rejoicing, but for many, it is a season of deep loneliness.

I myself have struggled with loneliness at Christmas over the years, particularly in my teens and early twenties when I flew through the season on the breathless possibility of somehow meeting “the one,” then experienced the disheartening thud of reality as Christmas arrived without the appearance of Prince Charming. But even in my younger years, whether from friction between family members as we frantically cleaned and prepared for guests, or disappointment if the day didn’t quite live up to my childish expectations, I have often found myself, as many others have, feeling alone at Christmastime.

Recent years have been better, as I have settled into the will of God for this season of my life, but every once in a while something sparks the flame of discontent to life again, and I end up wrestling with waves of loneliness and longing for the life I always thought I would be living by now.

Perhaps you’ve been there, too. Perhaps you are struggling with loneliness even as you read this. If so, take heart! God does see your loneliness. In fact, He allows it solely for your good. He wants to use that longing to draw you closer to Him, for the very pain and emptiness of loneliness points us to the open arms of our loving Father, who alone can truly heal and fill.

I was struck recently by a stanza of In the Bleak Midwinter that brought a new perspective to my fits of Christmastime loneliness: 

“Enough for Him, whom cherubim worship night and day,

A breastful of milk and a mangerful of hay;

Enough for Him whom angels bow down before

The ox and ass and camel which adore.” 

Think about the enormity of contrast between the throne room of heaven and the poverty, obscurity, and filth of the manger. Yet when Christ came to earth, He not only endured the hardships and indignities of being born as a baby and living a human life, He embraced it. Hebrews 12:2 describes it this way:

“Looking unto Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith, Who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”  

Though the perfection of heaven and the adoration of angels was His due, He nevertheless lived each moment fully satisfied to do the will of the Father.

This Christmas, if you find yourself feeling alone or dissatisfied with life, remember that Christ embraced His circumstances, different though they were from His rightful place in heaven, and found His sufficiency in doing the will of God. As He said in John 4:34,

“My meat is to do the will of Him that sent Me, and to finish His work.”

If Christ, who was God Himself, could find a baby’s birth and a manger bed sufficient resting place, surely, I, too, can take on the same attitude of heart and find my present circumstances enough, knowing that I am in the will of God.

Each detail of this season of life has been planned out for me by One who is infinitely wise, infinitely loving, and who knows all things. This moment, as I walk in the will of God, I have everything I need, and whether or not my emotions agree, I can truthfully say with the psalmist,

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.” (Psalm 23:1)

You are here for a purpose, living this moment, this season of life because God wants to do a work in and then through you. If you are walking in obedience to the will of God, there is great joy ahead, and great joy now, if we will only fix our eyes on Jesus and embrace the will of God moment by moment for the joy set before us, as Christ did.

Loneliness at Christmastime, as in every other season, is a call to find our sufficiency in God. Will you respond in faith, or wallow in discontent?

"Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a Son, and they shall call His name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.” Matthew 1:23