Getting God’s Heart for Difficult People

School began last week, and I had wanted to post this particular blog post before I met my thirteen God-given charges for the school year, but time got away from me and now here I am, one week in, writing about difficult people.

To be clear, I'm not writing because of any specific student. As I contemplated some of the challenges and difficulties I would be facing this year, God brought along a speaker at Family Camp that spoke on exactly what the students I was getting would need. (It never ceases to amaze me how God does that for me!) Because I went into the school year with tools from God's Word and a renewed sense of purpose and the importance of walking in the Spirit every moment, things have gone better than I had thought they would these first weeks.

As I prepared for the school year, though, I began thinking back over past years and past non-school related difficulties with people around me and I realized that the key to dealing with difficult people is to have the same heart God does for them.

When I think about God having to deal with difficult people, I think of the Old Testament example of God's dealings with the nation of Israel. He delivered them in a miraculous way from slavery in Egypt, provided for their needs in the desert, and showed Himself strong on their behalf so many times, and yet they were still selfish, distrusting, disobedient, and unfaithful. But God still loved them, and sent prophets time and time again to turn their hearts back to Himself.  Even though He had to bring judgement upon their sin, He never gave up, and never forsook them.

God's heart cries out for the difficult ones. Jesus wept over Jerusalem, saying,

 "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!"

Nehemiah puts it this way: 

"Yet many years didst Thou forbear them, and testifiedst against them by Thy Spirit in Thy prophets: yet would they not give ear: therefore gavest Thou them into the hand of the people of the lands. Nevertheless for Thy great mercies' sake Thou didst not utterly consume them, nor forsake them; for Thou art a gracious and merciful God"  

(Nehemiah 9:30-31)

This passage is preceded by a summary of Israel's cycle from blessing to falling into sin, to judgement, to crying out to God, and then to His blessing again. The final straw, as it were, was the continual rejection of God's warnings, which required God in His perfect justice to bring judgement which removed the people from the land for seventy years. Nehemiah is referring to this, and to the amazing and miraculous way God allowed for their return when their "time out", so to speak, was over.

In reading through the pre-exile prophets, one cannot but be struck with the heart of love behind the warnings of judgement. God could have brought instant judgement, especially since He knew whether or not the people would have repented, but he chose instead to demonstrate His unfailing love over and over again before finally bringing the promised judgement. The focus behind the judgement is that God's people would know that He is God. Then they would be His people, and He would be their God, just as He had planned all along. That is what God desires for the difficult ones: for them to be brought back into relationship with Him as He designed them to be.

Here's where it gets practical: God's love is unconditional, and ours ought to be, too. That doesn't mean we should never say true things which others find unpleasant, but we should say them from a heart of love, and for the purpose of bringing that person back in line with God's Word.

I am writing this as much for me as for you. It is easy for me to be patient first thing in the morning, but when the same person does the same thing for the millionth time (or at least, it seems like the millionth...) it is easy to give in to the flesh, throw up my hands, and give up. Those are usually the moments when God wants to use me to show love to that person in a powerful way that only He can empower me to do, and if I give in to frustration or anger or irritation, that person will not see God's love in me.

God's goal is to restore, to build. As His representative, I must have His heart of restoration, forgiveness, and love towards others, even when they are difficult. When God prompts it, I must say the hard things, take the hard stand, but always with a heart of love and a desire to see God work to bring that person back to where He desires them to be.

So who is the difficult person God wants you to show His love to today? Ask Him to give you His heart for them. He will, and it will make all the difference!