“Lovest Thou Me?”
Reading through the gospels, Peter often stands out. He was usually quick to speak, quick to act, often quick to say or do not quite the right thing. Peter was a man of extremes, as illustrated by his statement when Jesus knelt to wash his feet in the upper room:
“Peter saith unto Him, Thou shalt never wash my feet. Jesus answered him, If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with Me. Simon Peter saith unto Him, Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head.” (John 13:8-9)
In Luke 22, Jesus was preparing His disciples for the persecution they would face after His death and resurrection. Then He turned to Peter, saying,
“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren. And he said unto Him Lord, I am ready to go with Thee, both into prison, and to death. And He said, I tell thee, Peter, the cock shall not crow this day, before that thou shalt thrice deny that thou knowest Me.” (vv.31-34)
In my Bible, I have but to turn the page to find the account of Peter’s threefold denial of Christ. And on the page between we find him sleeping instead of watching in prayer as Jesus prayed with such intensity of grief, He literally sweat drops of blood. And while his Lord was in such agony, where was Peter?
Asleep.
Perhaps it was a sense of failure that heightened Peter’s desire to protect Jesus when the soldiers came to arrest Him just moments later, or perhaps he was still groggy with sleep. Peter lashed out and cut off the ear of the high priest’s servant. But once again, his response wasn’t quite what Jesus has in mind. Jesus healed the man and went quietly with the soldiers as His disciples scattered in fear. All except Peter, who followed at a distance, so he wouldn’t be recognized.
The account in Luke 22 describes Peter’s denial in great detail, also mentioning that with Peter’s third denial and the crowing of the cock, Jesus turned and looked at Peter.
Imagine how he felt at that moment, with Jesus looking right at him, no way for his pride to excuse what he had just done. No wonder he went out and wept bitterly! (v.62)
But that isn’t the end of Peter’s story. When Jesus rose from the dead, the angel told the women at the tomb,
“But go your way, tell His disciples and Peter that He goeth before you into Galilee: there shall ye see Him, as He said unto you.” (Mark 16:7)
It was important for Peter to know that Christ had risen. And when the women arrived with the news, Luke 24 records Peter running to the tomb to see for himself.
Later on, there were many appearances Jesus made to His disciples, one of which had particular significance to Peter.
John 21 tells us that Peter and several other of the disciples had gone fishing. Morning came, and they heard a voice from the shore, asking if they had any food.
After replying that they had caught nothing, the one on shore (who of course was Jesus) told them to let their nets down on the other side of the boat. They did, and came up with so many fish, they could not bring the net into the boat, but had to drag it along behind until they came to shore.
As soon as one of the disciples pointed out to Peter that the man on the shore was Jesus, Peter jumped right into the water and swam to shore. We are not told what passed between the two while the disciples were still bringing the boat to shore, but we are given a conversation Jesus had with Peter later on.
“So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou Me more than these?
He saith unto Him, Yea, Lord; Thou knowest that I love Thee.
He saith unto him, Feed My lambs.
He saith unto him again, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou Me?
He saith unto Him, Yea, Lord; Thou knowest that I love Thee.
He saith unto Him, Feed My sheep.
He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou Me?
Peter was grieved because He said unto him the third time, Lovest thou Me? And he said unto Him, Lord, Thou knowest all things; Thou knowest that I love Thee.
Jesus said unto him, Feed my sheep.” (vv.15-17)
This passage holds more meaning than we would realize from the English words used. The first two times Jesus asks the question, He uses the Greek word agapeo, which is the word used throughout the New Testament of the love God has for us. It means to love dearly, to be well pleased or contented with a thing. It is used in the Bible in the context of a love that is sacrificial, Christ-like, devoted to the point of suffering and death.
Peter responds with the word phileo, which refers to a more casual, friend-type love, a personal attachment of sentiment or feeling.
Agape love is a love that goes deeper than feeling (see 1 Corinthians 13) but Peter by now seems to have recognized that his love for Jesus was primarily feeling-based.
The second question is almost the same, but notice what changes: Jesus leaves off “more than these.”
Remember Peter’s boast that he would go with Jesus anywhere, his insistence that Jesus would never wash his feet? Peter seems to have had the idea that he loved Jesus more than the other disciples. –Have you ever felt that way?
The first question showed Peter that his love fell short of Jesus’ love for him, and the second underscored the fact that Peter’s love fell short in relation to the others.
John, in particular, comes to mind. He was the only disciple at the cross, and it was he who noticed that it was Jesus standing on the shore. I wonder if Peter slightly resented John’s love and devotion to Jesus because it overshadowed his own? Or perhaps it was just one more blow to Peter’s pride to have to admit that no, he didn’t love Jesus more than everyone else.
That brings us to the third question, the most devastating of the three. Jesus asks if Peter loves Him, but instead of agapeo, He uses phileo. This strikes Peter to the very heart. Jesus essentially just lowered the bar to meet Peter’s love where it was. That had to sting.
It was the final acknowledgement of the true state of Peter’s love, and it took away the very last brick from Peter’s wall of pride. Notice the humility in his answer:
“Lord, Thou knowest all things; Thou knowest that I love Thee.”
Jesus asked the same basic question three times—perhaps a reminder to Peter of his three denials. But the very question showed the deficiency of Peter’s love. Peter had boasted of his devotion, and when tried, had been found lacking.
Here Jesus shows Peter that his love also is lacking. He had to break down Peter’s pride in order to make him into the courageous leader we see him to be in the book of Acts. It took the stripping away of self-focus and self-importance to make way for genuine devotion and love.
Up to this point, Peter seems most led by his emotions, but after this encounter with Jesus, we see him instead led by the Holy Spirit, doing and saying the right thing at the right time—not perfect, but no longer leaning on his own strength and wisdom.
And that is exactly the work God wants to do in you and me. He wants to strip away the layers of pride and self-focus. He will show us where we are lacking, not so that we will feel downtrodden or defeated, but so that we will turn to Him in humility, admitting our failures and our lack of love.
It is when we are humble before Him that the Holy Spirit can begin the work of rebuilding, refashioning our hearts, filling us with genuine love and devotion, empowering and leading us to fulfill the purpose God has for us.
Perhaps the Holy Spirit is asking you the same question today. How will you respond?
“For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.” (Isaiah 57:15)