A Biblical View of Singleness and Marriage

I saw a news article this week that bemoaned the large number of Instagram accounts glorifying singleness as better than marriage. The writer’s view of the situation seemed to be that the happily single were demeaning or even disrespecting the institution of marriage by their very happiness (or at least by the way they were expressing it.)

While I know that these Instagram accounts are probably worldly people talking about worldly “benefits” to their singleness, that article should prompt Christian readers to ask two basic questions: What is God’s view of singleness? And is it really disrespectful to be “happily single”?

First, I do want to point out that those Instagram accounts mentioned in the news article I read only show us the “Instagram-worthy” side of life.

Those same “happily single” people most likely have times when they cry themselves to sleep, feeling left out, lonely, or any other of the myriad feelings they think married people never experience. (Spoiler alert: those same emotions occur in marriage, too.)

I hope you and I never let ourselves be fooled into thinking the lives of those around us are as “perfect” as they seem. Humans are still human, with human problems and emotions, regardless of marital, financial, or social status.

But back to the main question: How does God view singleness?

Of course, we can point back to Genesis 1-3 as the foundation of a Biblical understanding of marriage and the fact that mankind was designed for marriage from the outset.

But while marriage is a good gift designed and instituted by God, one could argue singleness is, too. —Or at least it can be. 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 is the classic passage on singleness.

“But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: but he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is a difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.”

This is where the Christian’s view of singleness differs from the world’s view. The world looks at the earthly benefits of singleness (i.e. freedom from responsibility, financial or material benefits, etc.) but the Bible views singleness as a spiritual benefit. Notice the emphasis on serving the Lord without distraction.

The world’s view of singleness is all about pleasing oneself, while the Bible tells us that singleness is not for self, but for service.

In this sense, singleness can be “better” than marriage, if it is used to serve God. Marriage also is good—God Himself designed it to be—when it is used to serve God. But it is important to remember that it is God who calls specific individuals to serve Him in singleness, that they may serve without the distractions of marriage and family, just as He calls specific individuals to serve Him through marriage and family.

The real answer to the question of whether we who are single should be happy to be, and how a Biblical view of marriage and singleness meet is found in 1 Corinthians 7:24

“Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.”

The issue isn’t which is “better,” but rather which God has called each individual to.

That having been said, a word of caution is appropriate here. Whether single or married, it is important that we have a Biblical view of both singleness and marriage, because the church is made up of both those called to marriage and those called to singleness.  

Today, if you are single God has called you to it, and it is only right that you find joy in serving God within that calling. If you are married, it is also right that you find your joy in serving God within your calling.

Happiness in the life God planned for you is not disrespectful unless you begin to fall into the trap of pride that views your life as better than the life God has called others to. We need to be careful to act and speak in a way consistent with God’s view of marriage and singleness.

Remember, marriage and singleness are not two opposing lifestyles, but rather, two different God-ordained callings. Each has its benefits and its difficulties, but both are opportunities to glorify God.

“Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” 

Philippians 4:11