The Power of a Soft Answer
“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
This is among the more frequently quoted verses in the Bible, but as I read it the other night, I was struck afresh by the truth of the statement. As a teacher of young children, I am daily witness to the power of a soft answer to diffuse a tense situation—and the power of harsh, angry words to escalate emotions.
Think about it. If you’re walking through a store, minding your own business, and someone starts speaking harshly to you, your immediate reaction is that “fight or flight” response that quickens our pulse and floods our bodies with adrenaline, ready to respond in kind.
However, if someone comes up to you with calm, gentle words, your body won’t sense danger and trigger that defensive response.
To give a soft answer in response to an irritating or emotional situation takes self-discipline and a heart in tune with the Holy Spirit. This is something I have had to work on for years, but whenever I let harsh words out of my mouth, it’s a sure indication that I need to stop and take some time with God, putting my prideful flesh aside and yielding to the Holy Spirit’s control.
The world around us is not known for soft answers. Just look at the way Americans in general express their displeasure or disagreement with others. Anyone who voices an unpopular opinion get their social media flooded with harsh, angry words, and crowds amass for “peaceful protests” only to end in violence or destruction of property.
There is nothing soft or gentle about the way the world vilifies those who stand up for what God says is right. But as Christians, we are called to be different. Jesus said,
“By this shall all men know that ye are My disciples, if ye have love one to another.” (John 13:35)
And we know from 1 Corinthians 13 that there is no room in Christlike love for the “grievous words” that stir up strife:
“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” (vv.4-7)
When we choose to respond to the circumstances and irritants of life with a soft answer, we put the love of God on display, clearly proclaiming that we follow the one true God who loves with a love that is unselfish and unconditional.
A soft answer is more than just a means of getting along with others or diffusing a situation: it is a means of proclaiming Christ and His power to save, redeem, and make us more like Him.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23)