What to do With Big Emotions

 “Teacher!” A tiny insistent hand pats my arm and I turn to look down into round blue eyes and a freckled face crumpled into a worried pout. “Teacher, this hurts when I press it.” My little student pokes at a small bruise on her elbow. In fourteen years of teaching, I have heard this complaint countless times from many students. But somehow, the conversation always goes the same way.

“I’m sorry that hurts. Try not to touch it.”

“But Teacher, it hurts!”

It’s funny the things we never grow out of. The other day I struggled all day long with an emotional “bruise,” something that ached inside, something I couldn’t do anything about. And what did I do all day? I poked at that little bruise all day long, just like my little students do with their bruises, all the while internally whining, “But Lord, it hurts!”

Then, God brought Psalm 77 to my attention:

“I cried unto God with my voice, even unto God with my voice; and He gave ear unto me.

In the day of trouble I sought the Lord: my sore ran in the night, and ceased not: my soul refused to be comforted.

I remembered God, and was troubled: I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed. Selah.

Thou holdest mine eyes waking: I am so troubled that I cannot speak.

I have considered the days of old, the years of the ancient times.

I call to remembrance my song in the night: I commune with mine own heart: and my spirit made diligent search.

Will the Lord cast off for ever? and will He be favorable no more?

Is His mercy clean gone for ever? doth His promise fail for evermore?

Hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath He in anger shut up His tender mercies? Selah” (vv.1-9)

This is a bleak passage, full of raw emotion, full of pain. You and I may or may not experience the physical suffering described in verse 2, but we can all relate to being kept up at night by some kind of suffering, and the seemingly inconsolable emotions that go with it.

Whether it’s a small child with big emotions over a small bruise, or an adult with deep wells of emotion rooted in a lifetime of pain, the answer is the same.

Perhaps like the psalmist you are in so much suffering, thoughts of God trouble you. Perhaps you are feeling like God has cast you off, or “forgotten to be gracious.” Aren’t you glad God gives us a glimpse into the heart and mind of a man who wrestled with those same feelings?

The psalmist doesn’t shy away from his emotions. He faces them head on, describing even his doubts and fears about God Himself.

When we are battling a barrage of big emotions, we can do one of two things: we can hold tight to our emotions and keep God at a distance, or we can lay them before God and let those emotions draw us closer to Him.

Our emotions don’t catch God off guard. He already knows our thoughts and feelings, and already knows how He plans to help us—if we will only let Him.

But just telling God about our emotions isn’t enough. The psalm continues with an abrupt shift:

“And I said, This is my infirmity: but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High.

I will remember the works of the Lord: surely I will remember Thy wonders of old.

I will meditate also of all Thy work, and talk of Thy doings.” (vv.10-12)

Notice that the psalmist says nothing about a change in his circumstances. In response to his overwhelming suffering, he chooses to take that suffering to God, and then to remember what he knows about God.

It is interesting to me that the word remember is repeated so many times in just three short verses. And what does the psalmist remember about God?

The Years of the Right Hand of the Most High

This is an odd phrase to us, but if you look up the definition of the Hebrew words translated “years” and “right hand,” it makes sense. The word translated “years” means just that, but here it is used in a general sense, like the word “ages.”  “Right hand” comes from just one Hebrew word, which is translated quite literally as the right hand or side, in reference to the dominant side, the stronger or more dexterous part of a person or object.

Basically, the psalmist is saying that in the midst of his suffering, he will choose to remember the times when God showed himself strong on his behalf. For you and I, this may be a remembrance of answered prayer, or a time when God worked in a particularly amazing way.

The Works of the Lord

This could be in your own life, the lives of others, or the works of God recorded in the Bible. Facing persecution? Remember God’s deliverance of Daniel or of his three friends in the fiery furnace. Remember the joy and peace He gave Stephen in the midst of a torturous death.

Or maybe you are facing illness. Remember the many miracles of healing Jesus did during His time on earth. Remember the grace He gave Paul to bear his “thorn in the flesh,” and be encouraged that God’s grace is sufficient.

God’s Word is all-encompassing. No matter what you are facing, there is a truth about God that can (and will) encourage you—if you choose to remember it.

God’s Wonders of Old

Again, this could mean remembering the wonders of God recorded in the Bible. This phrase makes me think of Exodus 3:20, when God told Moses that He would smite Egypt with all His wonders. There are so many amazing things God has done recorded in Scripture alone, we have ample cause to trust and rejoice in Him.

There are also examples throughout history of God’s wonders. I think of the astounding triumph of those who suffered so much simply to get the Bible printed in English, and into the hands of the common people. One glance at the stack of study Bibles on my shelf reminds me that no matter how steep the opposition, no matter how seemingly impossible the odds, God will always triumph in the end.   

Ponder and Proclaim

But there’s more to the psalmist’s response than just remembering the wondrous and mighty things God has done. He says,

“I will meditate also of all Thy work, and talk of Thy doings” (v.12)

The word “meditate” means to murmur. In this context, it implies muttering to oneself the works of God, mulling them over and talking to oneself about them. Similarly, the word “talk” also has to do with talking to oneself, in the sense of pondering or musing.

When I’m facing big emotions, it usually helps to give myself a good talking to with the truths of Scripture.

Big emotions typically spring out of believing a lie or forgetting (or ignoring) a truth about God.  This is partly why time spent reading and memorizing Scripture is so vital for the Christian, so its truth can set us free from the lies of Satan and the forgetfulness or stubbornness of our own fallen flesh that, like a small child, would rather poke at a bruise than let it heal.

The rest of Psalm 77 is a song of praise, declaring in no uncertain terms the majesty, power, and tender care of the very God the psalmist had doubted at the beginning. When you and I are overwhelmed by emotions that threaten to undermine our faith and trust in God, we must cling to what we know is true.

Are you nursing a heart-bruise today? Instead of poking at it, take it to God, and ask Him to show you a truth from His Word you can cling to. It’s not wrong to experience those big emotions, but we must respond to them with truth.

“Thy way, O God, is in the sanctuary: who is so great a God as our God? Thou art the God that doest wonders: Thou hast declared Thy strength among the people. Thou hast with Thine arm redeemed Thy people, the sons of Jacob and Joseph. Selah. The waters saw Thee, O God, the waters saw Thee; they were afraid: the depths also were troubled. The clouds poured out water: the skies sent out a sound: Thine arrows also went abroad. The voice of Thy thunder was in the heaven: the lightnings lightened the world: the earth trembled and shook. Thy way is in the sea, and Thy path in the great waters, and Thy footsteps are not known. Thou leddest Thy people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.” (Psalm 77:13-20)