When Love Makes Enemies

We tend to expect that showing love to others will automatically make them love, or at least appreciate us in return.

But just like the nation of Israel returned God’s loving care with rebellion and spite, we may find from time to time that our love –even when expressed in a Christlike manner– has made an enemy where we expected to find a friend.

The apostle Paul experienced this. In his second letter to the church in Corinth, he wrote,

“And I will very gladly spend and be spent for you, though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved.” (2 Corinthians 12:15)

To gladly give of substance and time, and to give oneself on behalf of others regardless of any return of love or scorn, that is the very definition of Christlike love. Jesus said,

“This is My commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

John 15 actually has a lot to say about God’s love and our love for others. Later in the chapter, we see the following:

“These things I command you, that ye love one another. If the world hate you, ye know that it hated Me before it hated you, If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.” (vv.17-19)

We see here that Jesus Himself expected love —Christlike love—to be met on occasion with hatred. It really shouldn’t surprise us, then, when we find ourselves echoing Paul’s words, whether verbally or in our hearts, because the love we have shown someone has found only hatred in return.

So, what are we to do when this happens to us? Here are a few things Scripture mentions.

Pray

Psalms 109:4 says, “For my love they are my adversaries: but I give myself up unto prayer.”

Whenever there is someone in our lives who seems like an enemy, we are to pray for them. And, as I once heard a preacher point out, we are to pray for them, not just about them! Consider Jesus’ words:

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44)

Forgive

When someone fails to love us in return, or to appreciate our acts or words of love on their behalf, it hurts. I think part of the reason God tells us to pray for those who despitefully use us is so that we can get our hearts in tune with His.

Those people who return our love with hatred or bitterness may never ask for our forgiveness, but we can have a heart of forgiveness towards them nonetheless. Jesus gives us an example of this:

“And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left. Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted His raiment, and cast lots.” (Luke 23:34)

Jesus was in the midst of the greatest act of love the human race would ever know, and in response to His petition for God to forgive them, the soldiers gambled to see who would get His clothing. That is a picture in miniature of the whole human race before salvation: lost in our sins, callous towards the very God who loves us so, and only wants to save us from eternal misery.

If God can forgive, surely we who are sinners ourselves can also.

Look to Jesus

Jesus is not only our example in forgiveness, He is also our source of hope and strength when love has made an enemy.

“For consider Him that endured such contradiction of sinners against Himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.” Hebrews 12:3

As we have seen, Jesus knew all about pouring Himself out in sacrificial love and being hated in return. Looking to His example helps us to be faithful in continuing to patiently, kindly, --even gladly-- show God’s love to those who hate us for it.

After all, “Charity suffereth long, and is kind;” (1 Corinthians 13:4) and our patience, kindness, and poured out love is never in vain. God sees, God knows, and it is God who will reward in due time.

“For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shown toward His name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister.” (Hebrews 6:10)

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“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 15:58)