Big Dreams, Big Fears, and an Even Bigger God

These past two months have been a whirlwind of writing, editing, and prepping books to publish. I can’t believe how much God has led and enabled me to accomplish, and with each new baby step forwards, I begin to think more and more that maybe God wants to make something of Learning Ladyhood Press, after all. But with each new step, baby steps though they be, it all just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

Now, I’ve never been one to dream big dreams… at least, not any I would ever expect to accomplish, and certainly not any I would have to work to accomplish! But here I am, thinking big thoughts, that turn into big dreams and seeking God’s direction as the big dreams expand before my very eyes.

The problem with big dreams is that they always come with big fears. You know, the “what ifs” that pop into our heads at the worst possible moments, undermining any confidence we might have had and bringing with them a sinking in the pit of our stomach, as we become convinced of the certainty of impending failure.

For a writer, those fears are usually something along the lines of, “What if no one buys my book?” or, “What if everyone buys my book, but hates it?” or the classic, “What if I’ve somehow been mistaken all this time and I actually can’t write?” Honestly, the fears mostly boil down to, “What if it’s not good enough?”, which translates into “What if I’m not good enough?”

Solomon had big dreams. At least, he had inherited the big dream of building a magnificent temple. We know He had the big dream of being a good ruler over Israel, and of representing God well in his role as king of God’s people.

But Solomon also had some fears. He told God,

 “And now, O Lord my God, Thou hast made Thy servant king instead of David my father: and I am but a little child: I know not how to go out or come in. And Thy servant is in the midst of Thy people which Thou hast chosen, a great people, that cannot be numbered nor counted for multitude.”(I Kings 3:7-8)

Does that sound a bit like Solomon saying he’s afraid he won’t be good enough? But that’s exactly where we begin fighting the fear: by admitting that we actually can’t be good enough. Not without God’s help. It’s a truth that is surprisingly freeing.

Then Solomon takes the next step:

“Give therefore Thy servant an understanding heart to judge Thy people, that I may discern between good and bad: for who is able to judge this Thy so great a people?” (v. 9)

Solomon asked for help. When we feel inadequate or start doubting if our dream is really what God wants us pursuing, we need to take some time to talk to Him about it. If God has given you a dream of something to accomplish for Him, He will certainly enable you to do it as you look to Him for help.

Solomon’s request for an understanding heart reminds me of James 1:5 “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask it of God, which giveth liberally, and upbraideth not.”

God will never get annoyed at us for bringing our fears and inadequacies to Him. He desires for us to rely fully on Him and to depend on His Spirit’s leading and enabling. That is the only way for us to be confident in the pursuit of the dreams He has given us.

A Christian’s confidence is never based on his or her own abilities or merits. It is all of grace. Therefore, we can accomplish big dreams, because our God is bigger than our dreams and our fears, and it is His power which works through us. As Philippians 2:13 says, “For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure.”

We also need to remember that “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7

Our obedience to God in pursuit of the dreams He has given us is never to be done in fear. Instead, we should work towards the goals He has set for us with confidence in Christ, in His power and ability.

So what are the things God has given you to accomplish that seem like big dreams with big fears attached? Take them to God, who is bigger than them all. 

“Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21)