Denying Self

I’ve been trying to learn how to use a budget for years, but, while I’ve learned that I’m pretty good at putting a budget down on paper, I’ve also learned that the paper budget never goes further than being written down.

It’s not that I go on massive spending sprees or have twenty credit cards: it’s just that I have a hard time remembering numbers and keeping a running log of my spending in relation to my budget.

But with my dad retiring earlier this month, the far-in-the-future necessity of being able to afford a place to live on my own is becoming an ever nearer reality. After looking over my finances recently, I decided it’s time to find a budgeting system that works.

I browsed through a number of budget apps for my phone and found one that was not quite what I had been looking for, but which turned out to be much better. It basically tells me how much I can spend each day, and whatever I don’t spend rolls over to the next day. Honestly, that was exactly what I needed.  But even with a helpful app, you know what budgeting takes?

Self-denial.

The Bible has a lot to say about this topic, but lately when I have faced little opportunities to practice self-denial, the Holy Spirit has reminded me of Jesus’ words in Matthew 16:24

“If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.”

The denial of self is foundational to the Christian life. It runs exactly opposite to the world’s glorification of self and the doctrine of “do what makes you happy” and also runs opposite to our natural tendencies as fundamentally self-centered beings.

Yet the ability to give up our own wants and wishes in surrender to what God wants is part of what makes Christians such a contrast to the unsaved world around us. It is also what enables us to bear fruit for Christ.

Jesus gives the following teaching in reference to His coming death and resurrection, but I think it has a lesson for us about self-denial as well:

“Verily, Verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.” (John 12:24)

When a seed begins to sprout, it ceases to be a seed. But unless it ceases to be a seed, it can never bear fruit. When a Christian chooses to say yes to God’s will, he or she begins to grow to be more like Christ. This means that they are leaving their old self behind, to become something totally different: something vibrant and fruitful. For a Christian to refuse to grow in Christlikeness is as ridiculous as a seed clinging to its shell, refusing to let itself sprout and grow to bear fruit.

Romans 6:11-14 tells us:

“Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.”

We are free from sin through the death of Christ and we are free to live like it! When we choose to say no to self and yes to God, we are living out the truth that we are dead to sin and alive to God.

As this passage points out, there are really only two options: saying no to sin or saying no to God. In our heads, we might acknowledge that sin leads us to misery and destruction, and God’s will is always for our good, but practically speaking, the battle we face is due towards the fact that our sin nature just really wants to say yes to sin. That is why self-denial is such a struggle sometimes: it takes stepping back from our desires and how we feel about a choice to look at it from the perspective of what God says about it.

And while the decision of whether or not to eat just one more chocolate from my candy dish doesn’t seem like a life-altering decision, it is an opportunity to learn to deny myself and follow Christ in the small things, so that when a big decision comes up, I am already used to saying no to self and yes to God.

Hebrews 5:14 speaks of those who are mature spiritually, “who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.” The more we use the little decisions in life to practice yielding to God, the more we grow in our ability to fight off the fleshly lusts which war against the soul. (1 Peter 2:11)

With this perspective in mind, budgeting becomes more than just something I should probably learn so I can function as a responsible grownup: it becomes a spiritual boot camp, training me for battle.

“But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Corinthians 15:57)